Life Is Amazing, It Is What It Should Be
I'm in a period of my life that tastes so good. Some might say it feels like a Quinn XCII song (specifically, “Another Day in Paradise”), and I’d have to agree. But let me backtrack real quick… it wasn’t like I woke up one morning, magically feeling the sunshine on my skin – quite the opposite, actually. It’s been a month-long process (maybe 2, maybe even 3) of reflection and revaluation. What it all boiled down to was my acceptance of and perspective on life. I no longer seek validation or praise. I’ve accepted the uncertainty, and I find bliss in the mundane. But most importantly, I am grateful – grateful to be healthy, alive, and attending FSU. Grateful to spend my evenings gathered in a tiny dining room with the most genuine, lovable women. Grateful to have parents that frequently check-in, just to say “hello.” And although some of these may seem small, they truly are not. Life consists of billions of small experiences, some of which are memorable, while others get lost in the depths of our mind. Either way, it isn’t the most extraordinary moments that constitute life’s abundance. Most of our happiness and joy takes place in the ordinary. It exists on your daily walk to class, or when the Brita is full when you reach for a glass of water. It exists in the smiles exchanged between strangers in-passing and in the laughter you share with your friends on long car rides. In each scenario, there is joy to be felt if you open your eyes and choose to see it.
As I’ve mentioned in earlier blog posts, there’s no telling when a rut will be over, but I’m happy to say that this one finally has. I owe it all (or at least most of it) to my rediscovered frame of mind. Suddenly gratitude doesn't seem like a chore. It now ebbs and flows naturally like the waves, steadying my emotions like a balanced scale. Honestly though, the trick to happiness isn’t a silly little journal, or listening to a podcast on your walk. The trick to happiness can be broken down into two parts: acceptance and choice. After a great deal of trial and error, I can tell you that accepting things at face value brings a sense of peace into your life. You can’t change the past, a person’s behavior, or the weather, so accept it and move on. Now, don’t get this confused with tolerance. You can accept someone as they are without tolerating how they treat you. There is a difference – the former allows you to acknowledge that some things are simply out of your control, while the latter creates space between your boundaries and someone’s actions. Moving on to the second factor: choice. Happiness isn’t served to you on a silver platter. Well actually, come to think of it, it is. However, no one is force feeding it to you. No one is sitting there injecting you with joy and contentment. It is 1000000% your responsibility to take hold of your life, open your eyes, and smell the roses. It isn’t your friend’s duty to put a smile on your face, and it isn’t your mother’s fault that you had a shitty day. To be happy, you must actively choose to do so.
Another variable that has contributed to my sunny disposition is being cognizant of what I consume. Although I have been more attentive to the foods that enter my body, I’m referring to a broader sense of the word. I’ve started to make my time with people intentional, letting go of the ones that leave me feeling drained. I’ve limited my amount of social media consumption, and I try my best not to feed into negativity, judgment, complaints, or gossip. My life now feels light, because I’ve created space for bigger, more meaningful things. I don’t have to waste time searching for reasons to be happy, because everywhere I look, there’s rapture to be found.
One final thing I’d like to add is the idea of being content with the present. After observation and conversation with my friends, I’ve noticed that many of us are dwelling in one of the following places: the past or the future. How do we expect to find fulfillment if we are obsessing over things that happened, or may not happen at all? Too often we get depressed about the past, holding onto harsh words and bitter memories. We get anxious about the future, playing out scenarios that have less than a 1% probability of occurrence. Allowing yourself to be where your feet are is what will bring you the most joy. Finding things in the present moment to be grateful for will make you realize how abundant your life truly is, because there’s an unspoken beauty in simplicity.
Take a deep breath & smile, because life is amazing, it is what it should be.
XXOO, EC
